Understanding the Mystery of Winter

For the past several years I struggled with what is known as seasonal affective disorder (SAD). I became sad and restless from the months of January until March-most of winter! For years I just suffered through these months, eagerly trying to find ways to escape-the cold, the short days, the long nights, the grey skies. I failed countless times in finding gratifying distractions that would rid me from the suffocating loneliness I felt. I decided I wanted to seek God for wisdom and revelation about this thing called winter and why it induced such dread in me.

Last year I was convinced that winter was a part of the fall of man! I couldn’t picture God creating snow and cold in the Garden of Eden! If that was the case, how could Adam and Eve stand to be naked in the garden? How could there even be a garden? I just knew that I had figured it out-winter was Satan's idea and creation (go ahead, you can laugh 😂) But what God has shown me is actually quite the opposite. God revealed to me that I have misunderstood the mystery of winter, that there is indeed good, even beauty, in winter. And here is how...

He started by taking me to His intentionality behind the winter season. Scripture says in Genesis 8:22, “While the earth remains, seedtime and harvest, and cold and heat, and summer and winter, and day and night shall not cease”. Ecclesiastes 3:1 says, “For everything there is a season”. So God created winter on purpose. Now that I knew winter wasn’t Satan's idea after all, God led me to look at the science behind why winter even exists. Earth's tilted axis is what causes the four seasons. When the South Pole tilts towards the sun it’s winter in the northern hemisphere, and when the North Pole tilts towards the sun it’s winter in the southern hemisphere. Scientists believe that something huge must have hit the earth during its early years that made it tilt by 23.5°. I, on the other hand, tend to believe that God enclosed earth in the palm of His hands and tilted it just right. God crafted this tilted axis in order for us to experience seasons. Without the tilt in axis there would be no seasons, there would just be one season all year around. Seasons are God’s idea.

There are parallels in what God does in nature with what God does in us-earth and us share the same creator so commonalities are bound to happen. I have found that God uses nature to reveal truths that I wouldn’t have known otherwise. I decided to take a closer look at what happens to nature in winter to discover what these commonalities are. During winter, some animals migrate to warmer weather (they've got the right idea 😉) while others hibernate. In nature, trees and plants are similar to the hibernating animals. I used to think that winter was a time of death, because all of the leaves fell and plants (seemingly) died. But God revealed to me that it’s not death that is happening in nature, but rather nature is sleeping as it goes through a season of inactivity and dormancy. In the winter, trees lose their leaves, not because they are dying, but in order to preserve their energy while they rest.

Then God led me to a blog titled, “Finding Beauty In Your Winter Season”, by Deborah Perkins. Perkins was on a similar quest and God led her to study the winter renewal process of trees. She found that trees go through a natural dormant stage where they stop making food and rely on the stored up energy they acquired in the warmer months. Trees also rely on the moisture they can draw up from their roots. When trees are denied they’re natural dormant stage (in winter) they’re lifespan is greatly reduced. In order to survive the winter the trees stop producing and turn inward. Here's the connection: we, like the trees, are summoned into a season of turning inward, to draw from what’s already stored up inside of us, and to extract from our roots. In Romans 11:18 Paul says, “remember that you do not support the root but the root supports you”. Who is the root? God the Father, of course! He is the vine and we are the branches. He wants us to draw from His water well so that He can sustain us. Perkins, D. (n.d.) “Finding Beauty In Your Winter Season”.

What a resounding confirmation of what God was already showing me! A God wink validating that He was, indeed, revealing this mystery to me. So here it is: winter was created to be a season of sabbath and intimacy. Like nature, God intended this to be a time of rest for us too, one of the reasons for this being to ensure our future survival. The same way trees' life span shortens if they are denied their season of rest, so does ours! Countless studies show lack of rest increase the risk of premature death. Winter is a gift from the Father giving us permission to rest. He designed this time for us to stop striving and just rest in intimacy with Him. Furthermore, think about how winter takes us from the outside to the inside, quite literally- it’s an invitation from God the Father through nature calling us IN. In, being, inside with Him! To think, God made a whole season to rendezvous with us ❤️. Picture a child nestled warmly in their parents chest-that is what winters are for.

There are things God wants to reveal to us in this season of rest and intimacy with Him-mysteries and truths we will only harvest in this season. Such as this! I would not have gotten this revelation at any other time, any other season. The restlessness that I felt in my heart was actually a misinterpreted longing for rest and intimacy. Here's what's even more cool about all of this, God even prepares our bodies for this season of rest. This is what He revealed to me about that: have you ever experienced that you are generally more sluggish and tired in winter (🙋🏽‍♀️)? The science behind that says it has to do with the reduced amount of sunlight we get which disrupts our internal clock, causes a drop in serotonin levels and disrupts our balance of melatonin. All these chemical changes impact our mood, sleeping patterns and slow us down. Here's the spiritual revelation God showed me about this: the slowing down process is God prepping and priming us for intimacy! Like a child cradled to rest in the arms of their father, God reduces our momentum so that He can romance us into intimacy! He prepares our bodies, minds, and hearts with a longing that feels unquenchable, unsatiated by anything other than Him. This longing used to cause me turmoil because nothing I did or anywhere I went satisfied it. What I’ve come to understand is that restlessness is actually working FOR me and it's there to prepare my heart for the healing, restoration, and renewal He wants to do in me. The only way that longing is alleviated is by surrendering to deeper relationship with God the Father!

All these years I misunderstood it to be a common diagnosis, a manifestation of my mental and emotional fatigue, but it's not! It’s God’s way of slowing us down, physically, mentally, and emotionally, by disarming our human inhibitions so that He can spread his healing balm of love all over us! My body recognized this need because it was created for it, hence all of the “symptoms'' were present, but my mind didn’t-there was a disconnect, a misunderstanding, until now. God gave me language for what was happening-I didn’t have seasonal affective disorder, I had seasonal misunderstanding disorder! Nothing was wrong with me, on the contrary, everything was right! So now, when I feel that tug in winter, that restlessness and solemn, I know it's my bodies way of cueing me to enter IN.

This season for intimacy has many purposes but I believe, at least for me, it’s primarily for inner healing. Healing is heart-work. And heart-work can get messy. It requires emotional vulnerability. God revealed to me that's why many of us are easily triggered and hyper-emotional during the winter season as well. This sensitivity to emotionality is, once again, God reducing our natural inhibitions in preparation for Him romancing us.

This revelation instantly changed my life. But I feel strongly that this new perspective is not just for me to keep, but to share with all who may find themselves desperately seeking reprieve from seasonal depression. I have learned the true meaning of the season, understood what is really happening inside of me during this time, and what the function of winter is actually for! I’ve come to embrace winter, this tranquil time of rest, find refuge in the way it sustains me, and explore the seasonal beauty that is revealed through intimacy with the Father.